Our current hierarchical view of ourselves and of our consciousness (with “I” at the apex, and “my ideas, my emotions, my experiences, and accumulated skills, etc.”, below) can now be shown to be fundamentally incoherent in a number of ways—the central contention being that in actual fact there isn’t and there can be no centre to our consciousness the same way that there is no centre to a river. Breaking away from the cul-de-sac of the this current/common hierarchical view, this chapter outlines a new model in which conditioned responses of memory—in the form of holarchically ordered, fundamentally interconnected basic assumptions and emotional attitudes—provide a continually shifting structure of consciousness (akin to the changing (infinite, yet finite) structural patterns which may arise in a kaleidoscope)..

Source: In Detail | The Order of Thought

Tuff Nutz 2 Krak …

and assorted saddle burrs …

so over the years i had some. I s’pose, for some folks, the ‘god’ issue been a tuff nut. I say that ’cause they’re so many references and intense discussions around ’bout belief or not. To me the discussion just a distracting irrelevency, i can’t devote any energy to it. It appears to me the talk arises out of an uninformed comparison of obsolete abstract symbols, dead memes.

Somewhere in here is a trend, within myself, to be hesitant toward krakin’ some nuts. Ya know like how a childhood trauma might scar ya fo’ life? Maybe like lettin’ the genie outta the bottle.

My first krakt nut bit me in the ass. When i was a kid i couldn’t understand how there could be such a thing as war. What could be so bad that i would be willin’ to go kill somebody? Well, at age 21, after i lived with a woman for a year, i understood well, simply by measuring the depths of my own emotions. And that was a game with no winner, just two casualties.

So, in the interest of pluckin’ the splinter out my brain, having taken a year each of western philosophy and eastern civilization, not only did i study the ‘new age religio-philosopher theosophy types, but much of the consumer grade, big chain bookstore literature in psychology, sociology, science, history, and current events.

And outta all that K and Bohm rose to the top.

Now here some nutz rattlin’ ’round my brain, courtesy of K:

1) you HAVE to be good
2) the observer is the observed
3) any movement of the ‘me’ is violence
4) is there action without will?
5) is what K says true? yes or no
and what are the implications?

Approaching these questions, its like when Neo, having swallowed the red pill, touches the mirror and …

on the conscious act of promoting certain memes and allowing others to die

i don’t know what all happened … but i do know … it had to have been in 1976 when i first encountered K’s words. Now, i had been briefed by some of the works of Ouspensky, Watts, Ram Dass, Osho, Gibran and others, but it was as if, in that first moment of encountering K that it was so obvious that K had the straight dope. It appeared to me that there could be no better expression truth. I still think that.

But what boggles my mind is … why haven’t i changed? Why do i not live that truth every day? Well …

I got a thousand and one excuses. So, ultimately, i must say … i don’t know, not in words i can state, but i can kinda sense it, there in the background, in the shadows. I guess its fear, or the desire for some kind of glory, or the fear of not achieving, or … all that. And its all bullshit.

So … what i talkin’ ’bout aint a meme. Its a living energy. But, yeah, we gonna associate certain symbols or memes when we reference that state of mind …

Anyway, what grabbed my brain function first was the idea of the immediacy of what he termed ‘psychological revolution’ (from the book “The Awakening of Intelligence”). It didn’t take place in ‘time’, like “now or never”. Its like grabbin’ holt ta the business end of a double edged blade (or maybe like the razor’s edge?) ’cause if it aint now, ya stuck with the never. K pointed out that any action taken less than a complete transformation of the mind was just sowing the seeds of sorrow. But in that first moment of observation, before ya start tryin’ ta measure any change, ya here now. Thats the blessing.

Then there was what he called ‘meditation’, total negation equalled the Cosmos. Awesome. And i applied what he said, at that time, and gained some experience … so why haven’t i changed?

But even more than all that … i have no excuse. Why? ‘Cause i was in his presence. There is no comparison between whatchin’ the vids or reading the books and encountering the force and light that exploded and radiated from this guy. I bear witness.

That force and that light are what i talkin’ ’bout when i say to be “wholly conscious”. Consciousness is primary. It permeates, it creates, it is the source of the universe – and we can’t, have never, nor ever will … be separate from that.

We are embedded in consciousness. Even when we are “unconscious”. When we sleep, there is still a consciousness that keeps our lungs breathin’ and our heart beatin’ and our food digestin’ etc., and allows us to dream – a whole ‘nother dimension of consciousness. Of course, for most of us, even when we’re ‘awake’ we only semi-conscious, ’cause we still bein’ driven by thought, just like dreamin’. And then when we die … consciousness … er, well, anyway … the implication is that right now here, our brains aren’t separate.

Not only are our brains functionally the same, built up out of billions of years of evolution, so are our ideas, images, emotions, symbols – the whole structure of our thought, the memeplex, – is pretty much the same the world over. We all want to love and be loved.

So why haven’t i changed, i mean like each moment perfection, now and forever …

vivisectin’ a human brain – psychologically

Talkin’ ’bout Krishnamurti and Bohm, they were my main research subjects, the whole of my experience on the net till a coupla months ago. They aint the subject of my blog – more like just the the pinnacle of my intellectual examination of human life on planet earth.

My examination is ongoing – but as far as tryin’ to hammer anything down with a theory or belief – they aint no nail can keep a holt to it.

I think, as far as my mission goes – changin’ the world, creating a good society, healin’ the environment… all that good stuff – its gonna require an amalgamation of many ideas, techniques and practices.

And here in my blog i gonna have to let yall know some of whats goin’ on in my life. ‘Cause i already know that the truth i advocate gonna affect directly my personal and public life. Its not that i havn’t been livin’ with the truth, its just that i felt it was too dangerous to express outwardly.

But now, for whatever historical or evolutionary reasons, the universe, or rather the very substance of the universe is demanding i take action, immediate, radical action. My conscience is giving me no choice.

So… while this may seem to be the conceit of a fifty year old white american crazy man, i hope, over time you will see this as addressing fundamental human issues.

Today i am playin’ hooky from my job in a heavy industry. We been workin’ mostly 6 and 7 twelve hour days a week for over two years. A man died a mysterious death on the job ’bout 6 weeks ago. Those two facts plus difficult family and financial issues goin’ on in my life have me functioning at some kind of physical and psychological limit. But thats ok ’cause its been the perfect laboratory in which to test my understanding of life.

an experiment in living – the suicide note of syndax vuzz

Greetings! At 1:22 am cst feb 6, 2011, i, syndax vuzz, post my first blog. I am new to this. This being the whole internet thing. I have been poking around the place for a couple of months now. I am very slow to start. Actually i have spent some time on the internet for the past few years researching my most important subjects (or rather their messages) – Krishnamurti and David Bohm. But as far as using the internet to connect with other people … i don’t know. I guess it reflects directly on my experience with the real world. At the moment i have very few real friends. And whether or not they use the internet or what for, they don’t talk about it. Even when i bring the subject up. The subject being my own experimentation with publishing.

So, at least partially, at first anyway, this gonna be like a confession. A declaration of who i am and what i intend to do. Or rather what i am doing. Its gonna be a living thing, in process, an evolving revelation, me exposing myself upfront, as i am, stupid, scared and alone. This gonna be a psychological vivisection, a suicide note.